Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Cause You Love My Boobs And I Love You

So, EW just wrote about a sweet encounter with her boobie sucker, and it made me realize that I haven't talked about breastfeeding in like a way too long time. I know, you are sitting at the edge of your seats in anticipation cause BFing blog posts rock your world too.



Well, I have been nursing Bug for one month short of a year and a half. We are down to about one or two feedings during the day and about 5 million at night. That's right, I am day-weaning and night nursing cause night-weaning is for wimps and the lack of sleep is giving me a glossy glow and doe eyes. Truth be told, I did this ass backwards cause I am an idiot breast-feeder and I lack the ability to let my kid cry at night. Yeah, I am that kind of parent. I call myself the "Accidental AP Parent" because I really had no parenting plan before Bug was born other than playing it by ear and rolling with the punches. I didn't know much about the whole--baby-wearing, nursing until college, letting the kid take over cal-king bed--type of parenting until I had Bug. But, as it turns out, that is what I am. And that is what I am because that is what Bug needed (needs) and I felt (feel) like my job is to respond to those needs. I baby wore because Bug had reflux and needed to be upright to be comfortable. I co-slept because she woke up constantly throughout the night and I needed (need) some damn sleep. I continue to nurse because it is her comfort and I can't see a real reason in her best interest to take it away from her. That said, breastfeeding is not nearly as simple as I thought it would be. I remember thinking all I needed was my boobs. Here is list of a few things that I realize I needed:



1. Nursing Bras. But not the expensive ones. The $50 dollar one I bought at the trendy BFing store in SM. Um yeah, not so much. The ones I bought in desperation, right after my milk came in and I was so engorged I was asking random strangers to suck on my boobs just to get a little relief, well those were somewhat better but didn't hold up in the wash and seriously people, when you are BFing every hour and half around the clock you really do not have time or the will to hand wash your stinky milk stained bras. Pulease. Which bras worked (work) the best? The $15 dollar ones I bought at Target. Without a doubt, the best.



2. The Medela Breastpump. If you are planning to BF your kiddo, you need to get one of these BEFORE your milk comes in and learn how to use it. Again, this was something I bought after my milk came in A) cause I had major oversupply issues and needed to pump to control my supply. Inversely, if you have low supply you need to pump to build up your supply or so I have been told. B) because I thought I'd be going back to work and needed to start pumping a supply of milk. I have to admit, I was actually afraid to use it at first and it took me a couple weeks of it sitting on display on my dining room table before I worked up the nerve to put my boob into the milk station. C) Cause how many other times in your life will you be able to buy such a ridiculous item and actually use it? The breast pump is all kinds of awesomeness and weirdness.


3. Zoloft. Well, not so much for the breastfeeding but for my sanity. My postpartum anxiety sucked and Zoloft did the trick to get things back on track. Not that my days are now picking wildflowers in a meadow, chasing rainbows and unicorns, but I am able to cope with the chaos. I stopped taking the meds several months ago but I highly recommend getting a little medicinal help if you need it.



4. A Postpartum Doula. OK, I sooo did not have this. I did have my mom's help. And she WAS a tremendous help. But even though I didn't have to pay her in cash, that kind of help didn't come for cheap. I PAID FOR IT WITH MY SOUL!!!!!! Seriously, next time ( if there is a next time) I'll hire a Doula. NOT KIDDING!

****There are lots of other obvious things. I got a boppy hand-me-down from a friend. And these pillows come in handy for the first couple of months. I had a really cute nursing cover-up thingy. I used it a bit but Bug hated being covered while nursing so it didn't get much use. Nursing tops are not too necessary and I stuck with t-shirts and cardigans as my nursing drobe but again, when else can you justify buying something as fanciful as easy access tops which allow you too whip out your boob through a nice little hole in the shirt? They are kind of hilarious.****

32 comments:

Nancy C said...

The breast pump is so weird...but it's wonderful. I remember when my youngest was in the NICU, I used this industrial, hospital-grade one, and I swear to God, my nipples were a foot long.

Amy said...

This post is oh so funny and true! and yes, the breast pump is both a source of fascination and fright for me. My son was born 10 wks premature, so me and Mr. Breast pump got welllll acqainted!

I could have probably used that zoloft...thank you for that tip. I may be requesting that next time.

Existential Waitress said...

I wasn't sure what you were referring to when you mentioned my "sweet encounter with the boobie sucker" - my pump, my kids, or C - LOL!

Yeah, breastpumps are strange contraptions - nothing like putting your boob in something that makes strange grinding noises and watching it pump milk from your boobs into a bottle. With my low supply issues the first time around, i would pray with every drop that more would keep comin'.

And I guess now that you mention it, I got into attachment parenting by chance too b/c I sure as hell had no game plan whatsoever when Bear was born. I didn't know jack about breastfeeding and pretty much screwed that up. I had no plan for co-sleeping, but that became all about survival. I really kind of believe in it though, even though I think it disturbs some family members. Thankfully, by the time Maggs was born 2 years later I was a little wiser and a little more prepared...

Tina said...

Wonderful post...jump over and take a look at this post.. http://catchingmysecondwind.blogspot.com/2009/09/fussy-baby-exceptional-child.html I write about my attachment parented daughter...who is now 13 ( I also have an 18 and 15 and 9 year old who have all been parented similarly...I like to call it parenting from the heart.
Good Job Mamma.

Therese said...

Ha! We are the same type of parent :) I talk tough about night-weaning my Chubs, but really? That cry? I can't take it. It can't last forever, right? Though I do fear that people will mistake me for her grandmother by her 2nd birthday as not only do I LOOK ravaged by sleep deprivation but I'm pretty convinced that my sleep starved forgetfulness will have become full blown dementia by then...

Therese said...

And, and YES to the doula thing. I had a birth doula that came with some post birth visits and she was the BOMB! Came over at 2 am on the first night that my Chubs had her first real bowel movement (not meconium) to help my Hubs convince me that she was not, in fact, dying of explosive diarrhea. Once I regained the ability to take a breath without full on SHUDDER SOBBING I thanked her profusely. Priceless.

Tracie said...

I did not breast feed either one of my kids. But I can tell you that my post-partum life would have been much happier if I'd had Zoloft and a doula.

Brittany at Mommy Words said...

Grabbing my boob out of my Medela nursing bra as I type so excuse any mishaps in spelling or grammar! I am with you on the accidental AP and have been writing a post on it! For me it gets more intense with each child. With Violet I feel like I should just leave her permanebtly attached to the boob! I too suffer from hyperlactation so my list is like yours except I soak through 6 nursing pads a day. No environmentalists I do not use washable pads I have enough laundry! So I would need to add that! I did purchase 2 easy access side vent nursing tops this time because with it being winter and my extreme engorgement I wanted something extremely easy to nurse in and I did not want to stretch out my other clothes!

Very funny and very true post!!!

Amie said...

Oh good call, Brittany. I totally forgot breast pads. These were esssential to my being able to go out in public. When my milk came in I would soak my entire shirt! I could do a whole post about different breast pad brands. And sadly, yes, I would actually do such a post.

Existential Waitress said...

I would have killed to have your problem - especially with my first born as I had low milk supply issues. I never once used nursing pads (although I had them) or soaked through a shirt - and I wish I could say that I did. My low milk supply issues, coupled with postpartum depression, made me feel so sad and inadequate.

Theta Mom said...

First of all - how is it possible I was not following you? Ok, just fixed that.

And how much did your comment on my blog just CRACK ME UP? Immensly!

And this post about breast feeding? I have nothing of value to share b/c for me, it was formula all the way baby.

Swistle said...

OMG, I laughed so many times. "Glossy glow and doe eyes." "Asking random strangers." The pump as dining table centerpiece. "I PAID FOR IT WITH MY SOUL!!!!!"

I had one breastfeeding shirt and I used to wear it to the mall. I liked it because it kept me from having to put my bare skin against the cold metal Food Court chairs while nursing. It was the kind that was basically two shirts, the underlayer with big silly holes in it and the overlayer acting all innocent about it.

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip said...

Amy, this post had me laughing and crying through the whole thing cuz I totally relate to everything. Although I was more of a card carrying raging hippy AP parent than an AP parent by default (*I was indoctrinated by a close friend before the birth of my first child--we drank the Koolaid together), I had all the same reasons as you for doing the things I ended up doing.

Like wearing my baby ended up being more for my own sanity than because it was good bonding, cuz Nino essentially screamed (I think he had colic) if he was not being held 24 hours a day. And btw, that pretty much didn't end until last year and he's five. I don't know if I spoiled him with all the AP stuff or if he was just destined to be an extrememly needy child. Now he is quite independent and barely notices if I leave him with my mom or whatever to go to the store. I have to almost harass him into giving me a proper hug + kiss goodbye.

Diego on the other hand is 2 /12 and I'm so with you. When we are out and about, he barely even thinks about nursing. But at night if he even rolls to close to my boobs and gets a whiff, he is all over me like white on rice. It's kind of embarrasing to admit he still nurses like 5 + times a night. But I am such a wimp and can't stand the midnight temper tantrums with kicking screaming and frothing at the mouth while he rages "me need nursies!! me need milkies!! maaaaaaaaami! maaaaami!" Oh and one more thing about that. If we are at home and I pull off my shirt anywhere within a 30 ft radius of him, he can smell those bad boys like a bloodhound and comes running like he just heard the metal tab of a Cocacola being opened.

On the breast pump note, I remember the first time I saw one of these. A friend of mine was using it and I was 10 years shy of having kids of my own. I was so horrified by the whole incident I thought I was going to need therapy. Little did I know, my second son would be unable to nurse for 6 months and so I would be penalized in breast pump prison for my earlier thoughts about breast pumping. Not to mention I was horribly fat after the birth of my second son, so while I had to spend 50% of every day hooked up to that terrible machine my fat gelatinous belly was rolling around on display for all my friends and family's viewing pleasure. I don't blame them if they need years of therapy to recover from that.

Awesome post. Your blog is rockin from breast pump to zoloft. Which I could have probably really used to get through that 6 months in retrospect.

amy said...

OMWCW, Thank you so much for admitting that your baby still nurses 5 times a night. I don't count anymore because it got to depressing to keep track but I think Bug is somewhere in that ballpark and I was beginning to think I was the only one doing this!!! This too shall pass, right??

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

ok lots of things it took me almost the whole post to figure out what BFing meant

i am super retarded

and i TRIED to BF my son but that lasted like the 2 days in the hospital and 2 days at home and i caved

so big ups to you AND your boobs

and finally - we all do what we gotta do to survive our kids - it may or may not be on the list of BEST things to do - but it's what gets us thru the day/night

u have my support unconditionally

Amy said...

Thanks, Kelly.

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip said...

Yep, it all passes. And then, at least for me, sometimes it's hard to remember what even happened. Must be the mommy brain.

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip said...

PS I just wanted to say that I agree with you about your comment on the whole orgasmic birth thing. I didn't want to post this on my site cuz of the friends of mine that graciously let me tell their orgasmic birth stories. I don't want to offend them. But I think the whole idea is silly to sexualize birth. I mean, dang it, why does everything about women have to be a sexual thing. It's ludicrious. Anyhow, I hope I didn't come off sounding like an orgasmic birth pusher in my post...oh well. I think everyone probably just thinks I'm a full on nut job anyway. What's one more log for the fire?

Amie said...

OMWCW, I totally understand. After I wrote the comment, I was worried I might have offended--which was truly not my intent. I love that you bring up such interesting topics and ask for discussion. I think we may be a lot alike in our views on these things. I really think the naturl birth, attachment parenting, bfing thing is fantastic yet some people get so militant about it and I think it might make some moms feel pressure to be something they are not and what really matters is that the kids are healthy and happy. If youy are a nut job, I am right there with you!!!

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I am cracking up over you saying you asked strangers to suck your boobs!! I applaud you for still bfing. Me..I lasted about 6 weeks. Yup..I'm a good mom!! Consider me a new follower!

Sarah said...

I am in complete agreement with the nursing bras from Target. Those were great!

Megan said...

Okay, breastpumps = greatness. But are you really on the meds? I worry that I need this right now, and I worry that it isn't good for my milky. I don't know. Message me more if you have something else to say about it. My email is meganriggle at gmail. com

Amie said...

Hey Megan, I sent you an e-mail. I sent it to the one on your profile but realized the mistake and forwarded to the address you left in your comment.

I am not on the meds anymore but I was for several months.

Suzanne said...

Great, great post. You're right -- there were so many things about breastfeeding that surprised me. It was awesome, though, and I hope to have the chance to try it again (overwhelming anxiety the first time around cut my BF goals short).

Also, are you getting a bunch of "boob" visitors to your site now? After our first nursing post, they were non-stop. :)

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