Sunday, February 10, 2008

The Weeks of Our Lives

My life is being measured week by week at the moment. I'm at nine weeks or am I supposed to say in my ninth week? I haven't quite figured out that nuance out yet. Week seven was scary because I had the flu and was sick for ten days. Then during week eight, I had light brownish spotting on Tuesday and totally freaked out. My doctor's office was not concerned and told me this is pretty normal during the first trimester. I haven't had any spotting since and my other pregnancy symptoms (nausea, sore boobs, extreme exhaustion) seem to be progressing right along. One of the weirder aspects so far is that I welcome things like nausea and indigestion because they are my only markers right now that everything is going right.

Jason brought his one-year-old daughter over yesterday afternoon. We sat outside (well we sat and little A explored our yard--she is fearless) and enjoyed the SoCal weather--70's and clear blue skies. They are moving out of state soon, which makes Big D and I pretty sad, but we are really happy for them. Big D and I have also had some serious conversations about leaving Los Angeles. My work schedule is so crazy that I know things will have to change. And frankly, I've waited long enough to have kids, I really have no intention of turning my baby over to a stranger for ten hours a day while I go off to a job I hate. The main reason that I am still there is because my health insurance is through my job. Our hope is for Big D to find a new job with health insurance so that I can be on his plan. But even still, Los Angeles is so expensive and our modest home i.e. mortgage combined with outrageous student loan debt make it necessary for both of us to work to survive. Out of state, we would have so much more wiggle room financially plus the possibility of living near family, which is something that I crave more and more the older I get. With many of our friends leaving Los Angeles, it's starting to get a little lonely around here.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Eight Weeks

Well, it's been a month since returning to work so that accounts for my absence from blogging. I thought my first posts back would be about Sundance. And I'll get to that eventually. But the big news for me is that I am pregnant. I am very early--eight weeks, and I know that means that I am not yet supposed to be sharing the news. But the fact is it is all I care about right now. As you know, turning 34 was a huge wake up call for me. In light of everything I read about infertility, I got really concerned about having been on the pill for my entire adult life and having no sense of what my cycle was like without hormones artificially regulating it for me every month. I worried about difficulty getting pregnant and figured it would be best to go off the pill and get real with my body. Well, I had one cycle off the pill and then got pregnant. I took a pregnancy test in January and it was positive. Last week, I had the first ultrasound and saw a heartbeat. I am feeling nauseous and extremely tired. My doctor says these are good signs.