In Awe

A few weeks ago I developed the photos from one of the two cameras we have. Over 400 photos of Nola. My beautiful baby girl. The photos of her just born. The one my mom snapped of her that she wasn't supposed to. I am so glad she did. Just born. Brand new. And yet she was already there. Why should I be surprised by her activity level? By the fact that she never stops moving? She would shift inside my belly all day long. My belly noticeably taking on strange shapes and curves throughout the day. She was having fun. She was swimming and playing and moving at will. Her inability to move after birth surprised and frustrated her. Nursing was her only comfort in this world. She still LOVES to nurse. And she is now WALKING. My not even ten month old baby is walking. I am so happy for her. She has wanted to walk since she was born and now her muscles are finally capable of carrying her through this world. I am so happy and so sad. And so proud. And most of all, humbled by the experience of motherhood. By the experience of being Nola's mother.

A Few Things I Miss About Los Angeles

The Getty Center
Venice Beach
Veggie Burger at The Counter
Eagle Rock
Paru's
The York
Liberals

In the Clear for Now

The results came back normal. I have a huge nasty oozing wound in my butt cheek but it is a cancer free nasty oozing wound!

Where The Sun Don't Shine

Back in November, I went to the doctor because I was still having issues down under from giving birth. During the examination she noticed a couple of freckles on my inner butt cheek and referred me to a dermatologist. Well, between Nola's tummy issues and the move, it took me until this week to get to the doctor. After seeing it, she scheduled me for a biopsy. Am I a little worried about this suspicious freckle? Me? Worry? Um, yeah. In fact, FREAKED OUT is more like it. But I have to wait two weeks to get the biopsy and another week for the results so I am trying not to fixate on it.

Closer to a Year Than Just Born

Nola is eight months old tomorrow. She is constant motion. I thought her goal was to walk. I am wrong. Her goal is to run. She is a giggling, screaming, crawling, babbling, standing, peek-a-boo playing ball of energy. She is so busy. She is consumed with life. She is everything bright and beautiful. She is my favorite person. My brother-in-law hypothesized that as soon as she learns to run she'll realize that what she really wants to do is fly. I think he may be right.

Tummy Time

This is my muffin top.

I don't think these pictures quite do it justice but it is the biggest tummy I have ever had.

aside from when I was pregnant.

Good Thing I'm on Zoloft

I had been thinking lately of getting off my crazy drugs because I feel like my body has stabilized and therefore my hormones aren't making my brain a sea of anxiety. Even with the state of the economy, the fact that our environment is seriously fucked, the reality of making a huge move which includes being away from Dylan most of the week, and having recently found a scorpion in the garage, I have been feeling pretty balanced.

But then came the swine flu. Fuck. A 23 month old died. The president is telling schools to close if they suspect cases. And all I can say is thank god for Zoloft because without it I might be huddled in a corner holding Nola praying the rosary.