Good Thing I'm on Zoloft

I had been thinking lately of getting off my crazy drugs because I feel like my body has stabilized and therefore my hormones aren't making my brain a sea of anxiety. Even with the state of the economy, the fact that our environment is seriously fucked, the reality of making a huge move which includes being away from Dylan most of the week, and having recently found a scorpion in the garage, I have been feeling pretty balanced.

But then came the swine flu. Fuck. A 23 month old died. The president is telling schools to close if they suspect cases. And all I can say is thank god for Zoloft because without it I might be huddled in a corner holding Nola praying the rosary.

Before/After

I wasn't kidding when I said my roots were SCARY. I finally got my hair done a couple weeks ago. I hadn't had my hair done since before Nola was born. As god is my witness, I will never go this long again. This is a promise I am keeping to myself. After two weeks, I am still thanking heaven every time I pass a mirror. I have my next appointment scheduled.

Before:



After:

Now I have to work on those eyebrows.

Crawling is for Babies

Nola has never really liked being a baby. She was squirmy from the moment she was born. She is also not content with "baby steps" in her development. Rolling over? No big deal. Sitting up? Whatever. Crawling? Not when I can stand. She desperately wants to walk. It consumes her all day. And she is sooo frustrated. I want her to walk so badly because I know it will make her happy. But I can't tell you how many times throughout the day I wish she would just be content to let me hold her on my lap and snuggle.

Happiness is...

It pains me to know that there are so many ignorant Americans. Maybe it is because we don't put enough money into our schools. Higher taxation is linked to happiness as is evidenced by countries such as Denmark which have high taxation but are also the most content people on earth. The wealthy 1% in the country use the ignorant conservative right wingers to line their pockets. These racist pigs are nothing more than pawns:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/16/10-most-offensive-tea-par_n_187554.html

Happiness doesn't come from low taxes nor does freedom.

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=4086092&page=1

Is that a bunny in my backyard?

There are cows here. Like a whole bunch of 'em. And horses. And hay.

The Sleepless Wonder

My nickname for Nola is sleepless wonder. Actually, that is not totally accurate because she does sleep. She naps. However, the naps are in her swing. She is almost seven months and I know I am not going to be able to let her do that much longer. She does sleep at night but wakes up every two hours for a little boob then right back to sleep. So in reality, I am the sleepless wonder. I haven't sleep for more than two hours straight since she was about two months old. When she was a newborn she slept longer but then got into the habit of using the boob at her little awakenings to go back to sleep. I really don't know how to break the habit. I just keep hoping that one day she'll sleep a little longer between awakenings. I know this is wishful thinking. I've tried all advice aside from CIO but Nola has a mind of her own and is going to do things her way. I like this about her but damn I need some sleep.

The Dark Ages

My anger for how much Bush fucked this world up is growing rather than diminishing. I really hate him for what he has done. Right now I am hating him for eight years of time wasted on stem cell research. Eight years gone. Eight years gone from people waiting for cures. Eight years of research stolen from my sister with MS. When she was diagnosed about twenty years ago, all the doctors said a cure was around the corner and then Bush happened and we ended up in the dark ages. Every year wasted is more degeneration. There are so many lives that have been negatively impacted by that evil administration. I don't hate often but I hate Bush.

My Life in the Witness Protection Program

When I finally made the decision that there was no way I could go back to my job, Dylan and I had to come up with a plan fast. There was no way we could stay in the house and make ends meet financially on one income. Los Angeles is a pricey place and for most a two income kinda city. So, we decided to rent out the house in Los Angeles and I am living in AZ near my family and Dylan is commuting from Los Angeles. Our expenses have been cut in half as was our income. We are going to do this for a year and then see how it goes from there. Even though Los Angeles is the center of the universe for me, I am loving being back in the desert. I forgot what quiet sounded like.