The Degradation of Conversation

A few statements that have come out of my mouth today.

Get out of her butt. --Said to the chihuahua Mateo who had his nose all up in Josie's (the mutt) business.

No, we don't eat dog food. --Said to Nola who has developed a fascination with the dog bowls. Hence, the next statement--

No, don't put your hand in there. It's yucky. --Said to Nola when she stuck her hand in the dog's water bowl.

Shoes don't go in the toilet. They go on your feet. --Said to Nola when she threw her shoe (fortunately an old shoe that no longer fits) into the toilet BEFORE I flushed it.

So, that is a snippet of my glamorous life.

Crawling is for Babies

Nola has never really liked being a baby. She was squirmy from the moment she was born. She is also not content with "baby steps" in her development. Rolling over? No big deal. Sitting up? Whatever. Crawling? Not when I can stand. She desperately wants to walk. It consumes her all day. And she is sooo frustrated. I want her to walk so badly because I know it will make her happy. But I can't tell you how many times throughout the day I wish she would just be content to let me hold her on my lap and snuggle.

The Baby

My little one is five weeks old. Breastfeeding is still challenging and it breaks my heart when she struggles with my milk flow. Something miraculous happened last night. She went five hours between feedings which meant that I got about four hours of straight sleep! Hallelujah. She is still very gassy most of the time. She is starting to recognize faces and voices which is amazing! Oh and she is the cutest baby ever.

The Pump and a Weight Check

So I bought a pump last week. I am afraid of it. I don't think I'll offer her a bottle yet but I have a fear of having no stored milk in case of an emergency. I have been working to try to get the whole let down thing under control and fear that I could just sabotage the whole thing with the pump. On the other hand, pumping a little might actually help.

I took her for a weight check yesterday and she is right on target for weight gain. She is now 8 pounds 6 and 1/2 ounces! She was 7 pounds 14 ounces at birth and went down to 7 pounds 3 ounces. Last Tuesday, she was 8 pounds which means she has gained an ounce a day since then!

Life Has Changed

So, breastfeeding is way more difficult than I thought it would be. And I expected it to be difficult. I can't believe the pace. My life has been turned over to nursing. Every two hours. Sometimes 2 1/2 to 3. And that is from the beginning of the the last feeding. And I have an overactive milk let down which makes my little one is fussy and uncomfortable at the breast. We are trying to work through it but it makes me feel like crap. On top of being exhausted.

She's Here

The new girl in the room was born on Sept 10. She is the most beautiful baby in the cosmos. And I'm not just saying that because I am her mother--it's a fact. I'll write more about the birth at some point but right now all of my world centers around breastfeeding and my brain is mush.

Two Good Things-Shoes and Babies

I miss clothes. At this point my maternity clothes don't even fit. I miss shoes too. Shoes with heels.

I made this polyvore back in December. It seems like years ago. Part of me feels like pregnancy is my new body and I could just stay this way. What will it be like to not have a baby squirming around inside me? Will my intestines be lonely? It will be so strange to have an empty belly. I am so used to the heaviness now. I am so used to having her inside of me. Pregnancy is a long time. I can't wait to have her in my arms but it will be strange to no longer have her in my belly.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving isn't my favorite holiday. Much of this could be because I don't eat meat and well, it's a holiday that's all about the bird. Or my lack of interest could be attributed to having spent most of my adult life partnered to a man who grew up on an Indian Reservation (where, needless to say, it's not a much celebrated holiday). Or maybe it's one of those holidays, like Christmas, that I don't think I will have much interest in until I have kids. I know, I know, it's a time to celebrate with family and friends. And I can't complain about having the time off from work which, if I include the weekend, is five whole days straight! Still, every year that passes, these holidays whisper clearer and clearer to me that something is missing.

Talkin' 'Bout My G-Generation

I went to two different b-day parties this weekend. One on Sat. One on Sun. Both for 1-year old girls. One of the girls is the daughter of old friends, college days, undergrad. days. The other little cherub is the daughter of new friends, neighbors.

Both parties were sweet and low key and made up of friends eating cupcakes and singing happy b-day. Joyful and loving and simple. And I am proud of my g-generation. Gen-nice.