Quick Post Cause There is a Cranky 14 Month Old Pulling at My Pants

Bug got the H1N1 Vaccine yesterday. Needs a booster in a month.

I can handle baby poop and spit up until the cows come home but cleaning up big dog throw up makes me vomit in my mouth.

I have covered my floor in puppy pads, put up a gate, and taken away food and limited evening water and STILL found a chihuahua pee on the floor this morning.

Bug has major sleep issues and her breathing sounds funky when she sleeps. Is it chronic cold, allergies, tonsils, more of her reflux? Anyone have a guess? Cause the doctors seem clueless. And I just want some damn sleep!

Photos

Better Put

Go on Ahead

You go on ahead, honey
You have a good time there
You make me feel funny
I'm no ordinary lover or friend

I believe we have things to do
I believe in myself and I believe in you
I believe when I sleep you are near to me
When you sleep I am near to you

You walk out of the room with your hands so deep in your pockets, I don't
Recognize you
You say you're a ghost in our house and I realize I do think I see through you

You go on ahead, honey
You have a good time there
You make me feel funny
I'm no ordinary lover or friend


It's a death in our love that has brought us here
It's a birth that has changed our lives
It's a place that I hope we'll be leaving soon
And I fear for the year in his eyes

And it goes around in circles: one night is lovely, the next is brutal
And you and I are in way over our heads with this one, it's hard
To admit it, but you hold me and I can't feel you
We hurt but we smile
I promise I'll make it back when the summer has warmed me awhile

You go on ahead, honey
You have a good time there
You make me feel funny
I'm no ordinary lover or friend

I believe we have things to do
I believe in myself and I believe in you
I believe when I sleep you are near to me
When you sleep I am near to you

Liz Phair

Credit (one more Halloween post)

Bug was the cutest ladybug in all the land. And most of that is due to the fact that Bug is the cutest babe in all the land. But a significant part of the cuteness came from the costume that I bought on Etsy from Tutu Twirls. I love Etsy. Even though I am not exactly crafty, I appreciate those who are and I think Tutu Twirls has the prettiest tutus and most complete outfits amongst the many on Etsy selling tutus. Even the tags are adorable.

Thanks, Tutu Twirls!

I Made This Bed

Many moons ago I gave up on the whole sleep training thing and decided that Bug and I would nurse and co-sleep for however long the arrangement worked. For the first few months of her life, Bug slept in a bassinet next to my bed. Her first month she would sleep a four to five hour stretch and then two two or three hour stretches and then up. This little routine began to degrade over her second month and by month three her night wakings were every 20-30 minutes. Needless to say, she began sleeping in my bed and it has been that way since. When we finally got her on the right reflux meds, she started sleeping in longer stretches--two hours. Woohoo!! It has been that way since. Every now and then she'll wow us with a three and rarely even a four hour stretch. Co-sleeping works for us because it diminishes stress and lets us all get some damn sleep.

Until this week. I am apparently severely allergic to the desert. I have started having these horrible coughing attacks which seem to come on just as I am nursing Bug down to sleep. Last night it was so bad that I had to put her down in her crib and leave the room and go downstairs and cough up my lungs. She screamed and screamed until I got back to her. I laid her down in my bed and nursed her back to sleep, sucking away on cough drops and praying to god to let me get her down to sleep before another coughing fit started. As soon as she was asleep, I ran downstairs and coughed my ass off again. Then I woke us both up at about 3:30 AM coughing. This seriously sucks.

A Whole New Way to Procrastinate

I'd like to post but I am busy wasting time on the Dooce Community. Are cheese fries a bad lunch? Wait, I'll go ask the masses.

Getting Lost?

I love holidays. Now that Bug is one, I am even more excited about them, introducing her to tradition, seeing everything through her eyes. It is joy, plain and simple.

I wrote this post two years ago. When I wrote it I didn't know I was about to be pregnant in like a second. My world was about to change. Everything was about to bubble over with meaning. It is hard to believe two years have passed. In some ways, it is even harder to believe only two years have past since I was that person. You hear a lot about keeping yourself, not getting "lost" in motherhood. This seems to be the current trend of thought in mothering. But I feel differently about change and transformation. Motherhood is transforming me into a person I want to be, a person I am proud of. I haven't lost myself. I am finding out who I am.