Sunday, May 4, 2008

Sundance

So I am finally getting around to posting some of our picks from Sundance. January was a crazy month. I found out I was pregnant right before we left for the festival so the whole trip took on monumental status for me. It was the culmination of the project that Dylan had worked on for so many years, the fulfillment of the dream of every young film student to get a movie into Sundance and, on top of that, the beginning of my pregnancy.

After Sundance I got outrageously sick with the flu and that merged into morning sickness and extreme exhaustion. I am now climbing out of that and entering the "golden" trimester of pregnancy. I have a belly now---a nearly perfect basketball. And I have found out that I am indeed not carrying a chihuahua but a little girl! The main problem with work at this point is that I just don't care. I am daydreaming about a pink and green nursery, longing to hold this sweet little baby, and waiting impatiently for every kick and swimmy movement in my belly.




Saturday, May 3, 2008

Dancing Queen

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig the dancing queen

Dancing Queen is one of the saddest songs ever written. She's only seventeen and she is having the time of her life. What is left for her? She falls for some cheezy disco dude. She gets knocked up. They get married. He turns out to be a greasy alcoholic. They live in a trailer. She drinks a lot of bud lite. She goes to bars every now and then. She dresses in tight jeans and a halter top and shakes her muffin top all the bar, stumbling drunkenly into the barstools. Her kids hate her. She hates herself. She is the Dancing Queen.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Saturday, April 5, 2008

A Totally Pregnant Posting

Mahatma Gandhi said, "The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated."


This article is from ASPCA. Visit www.aspca.org


FIGHT ANIMAL CRUELTY

Talking to Kids About Animal Cruelty

From cats to canaries, from Dobermans to dachshunds, our pets often seem to know how we feel. They comfort us when we're hurt, and make us happy when we're sad. They share our joy, and stay by our side when times are bad.

But, sometimes, some people are mean to animals. How do you explain this to a child?

What Is the Impact of Animal Cruelty?
Mahatma Gandhi said, "The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." Animals feel pain and fear like we do, but they are often helpless victims because they can't say what happened to them. In fact, some people choose to abuse animals instead of people for this very reason! If we wish to create a humane society, we must stop cruelty against those who are most vulnerable-like animals.

Cruelty toward animals does more than cause other living, feeling beings to experience pain and fear. Like the death of a canary in a coal mine, violence toward animals can be an indicator that people are also in danger. Someone who commits animal abuse may have serious psychological problems. Studies have found that many people convicted of violent crimes had a history of animal cruelty. Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, Andrew Cunanan, David "Son of Sam" Berkowitz, and Albert "Boston Strangler" DeSalvo were cruel to animals before they started hurting people. Adults are not the only ones whose cruelty to animals can be a sign of deeper troubles. Many murderous children and teenagers-such as Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold of Columbine High School-also have histories of animal cruelty.

Animals in homes with family violence are also often victims of violence. One study found that animals were abused in 88 percent of the homes in which a child was abused. Another study found that 83 percent of families reported for animal abuse also had children at high risk of abuse or neglect. Although most of the abuse toward the animals came from the parents, about a quarter of abused children abuse animals.

What Can You Do About It?
"Animal cruelty is a national problem," says ASPCA Supervisory Special Investigator Annemarie Lucas. "Violence towards animals crosses all racial and socioeconomic lines and reaches from coast to coast." No matter where you live, there is a lot you can do to stop animal cruelty.

One of the most powerful tools we have for preventing cruelty to animals is education. It is important to plant the seeds of kindness in children early, and to nurture their development as the child grows. Children not only need to learn what they shouldn't do, but also what they can and should do. When children see that their pets are happy and loving, it will make the child feel good, too. This in turn will help the children care for their pets' feelings.

However, since people don't always realize that they are being cruel, adults need education, too. If you are not a teacher, please urge your local schools to integrate humane education into their curricula. If you are a teacher, bring humane education into your classroom. To help you, your local shelter may have outreach programs, education materials, camps, etc. You can also find plenty of humane ideas and activities on our children's website, ASPCA Animaland, and our site for humane educators, ASPCA Education.

Every child is unique, and adults should use caution and careful thought when discussing cruelty with children. In general, children under four simply should not be exposed to cruelty. Two-year-olds can begin to learn that their actions make others-including animals-happy and sad. With two- and three-year-olds, discuss their own experiences and how they would feel if they were treated the way they treat their pets or other animals in their immediate lives. Help them relate not only the ways they would feel hurt, but also the ways they would feel happy.

With all children under six or so, you may wish to help guide their hands so they can learn how to pet and hold their animal companions. Children do not have fine control over their movements and impulses—they will want to treat their pets with love, but will need a little help from you to do it correctly.

Children who are between about four and six often begin to understand basic moral concepts, such as fairness. These children can learn to be kind to animals because the animals "deserve" it. Children may discuss injuries they have had themselves, but do not introduce discussions about other types of injuries. Try to limit discussions of animal cruelty to the simple fact that animals can be hurt; do not describe how they can be hurt (e.g., starvation, physical abuse, etc.).

With most children who are six to ten years old, you can begin to discuss why someone might be mean to an animal-as long as you make sure the child always keeps in mind that it is wrong to hurt animals. In addition, do not let discussions of animal cruelty satisfy the morbid curiosity some children of this age may have. Children of this age often form some of their earliest memories and impressions about the state of the world beyond their families. It is very important that adults filter what these children perceive! Even if children witness violence as a "bad example" or as a way NOT to act, they are still witnessing violence, and can be strongly affected by it.

Many children between 10 and 14 are exploring their self-image and reflecting upon their relationships with others. Studies indicate that children of this age are still strongly affected by violence, so discussions about animal cruelty should still be kept free of details about the violence. Nonetheless, the issue can be raised directly—if delicately—with most of these children. Adults should make it clear that they do not condone violence in their own thoughts and behavior. Children of this age are finely attuned to the words and actions of adults, and still rely on them as role models.

Parents, teachers, and trusted adults can also discuss with 10- to 14-year-olds how they would act if their peers or friends treated animals cruelly. By couching the advice in terms of what you would do if you were in a given situation, you can help children overcome peer pressure and follow what they know is right. These children may encounter others abusing animals—knowing that they are in the right and will be supported for standing up to it is very important at this age of strong peer pressure.

Again, with all children-even older teens-keep in mind the importance of modeling appropriate behaviors. Our children do emulate us, even if they wouldn't admit it. If we treat animals cruelly or as unfeeling machines, our children will probably think that this is right or, at least, normal. The more a child identifies with an adult, the greater an impact that person will have on the child-in both good ways and bad ways.

Children who know of animal cruelty should tell an adult about it. Make sure children know who they can trust—such as parents, teachers, police officers, etc.—and nurture their trust so they can tell you.

For an in-depth explanation of animal cruelty written especially for older kids, please visit the Real Issues section at ASPCA Animaland, the website for kids who love animals.

RESOURCES

DeViney, E., Dickert, J., & Lockwood, R. (1983). The care of pets within child abusing families. International Journal
for the Study of Animal Problems
, 3, 321-329.

Ascione, F. R., Weber, C. V., & Wood, D. S. (1997). Animal welfare and domestic violence: Final report. Logan, Utah: Utah State University.

Further Reading:

Ascione, F. R., & Arkow, P. (Eds.). (1999). Child abuse, domestic violence, and animal abuse: Linking the circles of compassion for prevention and intervention. West Lafayette, Indiana: Purdue University Press.

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Sunday, March 16, 2008

14 Weeks

So, yeah, it's been awhile since posting anything. I'm 14 weeks---YAY! The first trimester was really difficult. I had a horrible scary flu at 7 weeks and was out of work for a week then felt like a zombie for another. The flu just merged into morning (all day) sickness and incredible exhaustion. Then I started having spotting episodes. I found out at 10 weeks that the spotting can be attributed to the fact that the placenta implanted in the wrong place and is covering my cervix. This is not considered a high risk situation this early in pregnancy but it is enough of a concern that I have to go to the doc twice a month rather than the regular once a month visit. I am also supposed to rest as much as possible and considering the insane business of my job that is a laughable idea. By the time I get home, I am so tired that I crash out and then can't sleep well through the rest of the night. Not to mention that my bed has become so incredibly uncomfortable that it is something akin to a torture device. I need to get a mattress pad to give the mattress support but the decent ones are outrageously expensive and I can't afford anything right now because Big D is still unemployed. I also don't fit into ANY of my clothes anymore and again, can't afford to buy anything to fix this situation. If I stayed at home this wouldn't be a big deal but the two pairs of sweats that I can fit into and comfortably wear at home would not go over well at the office. UGH.

I am so looking forward to the second trimester and thrilled that I finally hit 14 weeks. I wish I could just run away from the rest of my life and just enjoy being pregnant for a while.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

The Weeks of Our Lives

My life is being measured week by week at the moment. I'm at nine weeks or am I supposed to say in my ninth week? I haven't quite figured out that nuance out yet. Week seven was scary because I had the flu and was sick for ten days. Then during week eight, I had light brownish spotting on Tuesday and totally freaked out. My doctor's office was not concerned and told me this is pretty normal during the first trimester. I haven't had any spotting since and my other pregnancy symptoms (nausea, sore boobs, extreme exhaustion) seem to be progressing right along. One of the weirder aspects so far is that I welcome things like nausea and indigestion because they are my only markers right now that everything is going right.

Jason brought his one-year-old daughter over yesterday afternoon. We sat outside (well we sat and little A explored our yard--she is fearless) and enjoyed the SoCal weather--70's and clear blue skies. They are moving out of state soon, which makes Big D and I pretty sad, but we are really happy for them. Big D and I have also had some serious conversations about leaving Los Angeles. My work schedule is so crazy that I know things will have to change. And frankly, I've waited long enough to have kids, I really have no intention of turning my baby over to a stranger for ten hours a day while I go off to a job I hate. The main reason that I am still there is because my health insurance is through my job. Our hope is for Big D to find a new job with health insurance so that I can be on his plan. But even still, Los Angeles is so expensive and our modest home i.e. mortgage combined with outrageous student loan debt make it necessary for both of us to work to survive. Out of state, we would have so much more wiggle room financially plus the possibility of living near family, which is something that I crave more and more the older I get. With many of our friends leaving Los Angeles, it's starting to get a little lonely around here.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Eight Weeks

Well, it's been a month since returning to work so that accounts for my absence from blogging. I thought my first posts back would be about Sundance. And I'll get to that eventually. But the big news for me is that I am pregnant. I am very early--eight weeks, and I know that means that I am not yet supposed to be sharing the news. But the fact is it is all I care about right now. As you know, turning 34 was a huge wake up call for me. In light of everything I read about infertility, I got really concerned about having been on the pill for my entire adult life and having no sense of what my cycle was like without hormones artificially regulating it for me every month. I worried about difficulty getting pregnant and figured it would be best to go off the pill and get real with my body. Well, I had one cycle off the pill and then got pregnant. I took a pregnancy test in January and it was positive. Last week, I had the first ultrasound and saw a heartbeat. I am feeling nauseous and extremely tired. My doctor says these are good signs.