Moving

I am moving. I am packing up the boxes and moving on. And I am not just talking about my move back to Los Angeles. I am moving this bloggy too. GITR now lives here: www.girlintheroom.com

Exposed

Back when I worked, people were always getting in trouble over e-mail snafus. One lady got the boot cause she wrote an e-mail about one of our celeb prospective parents and sent it to Sarah the boss instead of Sarah the assistant. And there were other issues. People often hit the "reply all" button as opposed to the "reply to sender" button leaving more than one person in an embarrassing e-mail sitch and throwing the tech team into overdrive to shutdown the message before all the "alls" could retrieve it. The panic always cracked me up. And you need that kind of thing to lighten your day when you live in a cave.

But when an e-mail snafu happens to you, or to me, to be more precise, it is not such a laughing matter. And I know better. I know not to write it in an e-mail. It was a truthful e-mail but potentially hurtful and it somehow got before the eyes of the person it was about. And though she knew about it for at least a couple of weeks, just confronted me yesterday. She actually thanked me because what I said in the e-mail helped her reflect on our relationship. I am not sure if the apology was sincere or a stab but the whole situation created a lot of tears and hurt and I feel at once both violated and embarrassed, hurt and ashamed. I wish I had had the guts to say what I had to say to this person from the get go, but some relationships, especially familial are incredibly tense, twisted, and confusing. I don't totally regret writing it because it was and is the truth but I do regret that it somehow got to her because it was a private conversation. But it happened and I can't take it back so it is what it is. I am sorry that I hurt this person but not sorry that I wrote about my honest feelings and I will not use other people's computers in the future.

Getting Over It

When I quit work, we had to move. Bug and I moved to the desert. Big D stayed in Los Angeles and came to us on the weekends. At first it didn't matter much. Bug was nursing all the time and refluxing when she wasn't nursing and we two were a beautiful mess. But as the months turned into a year, the weekdays without Big D became grueling and the commuting back and forth for Big D became arduous. Bug became attached to her Daddy. It became obvious that we needed to move back. But in doing so, I have come to realize that this temporary move to the desert has been a buffer from the feelings of having to, for financial reasons and other more personal reasons, leave. The house in Eagle Rock has our blood, sweat, and tears in it. For now, it is still ours though we no longer live there. But I am realizing that I have to mourn a little for it and then get over it. Cause a house is only a home when the people you love are in it. And that is what I have learned. So, here is my goodbye to my lovely little house. I think we did right by you.

When The Kids Play

I think I've mentioned before that I went to high school and college in Las Vegas and most of Big D's family lives there as well. So does my BFF who is known in bloggieland as Existential Waitress. We have wanted to get our kids to meet and play since before Bug was born but for a variety of circumstances that didn't happen until this last Friday when we went to Vegas for a visit.

We had the feeling our kids would get along but their interaction exceeded our expectations. It was a serious funfest. Our kids played and played and danced and played "See You" otherwise known as Hide and Seek for hours and hours. Bug LOVED all of Maggs and Bear's toys and they just got along so damn well. EW and I were such proud parents. We were mentally high-fiving each other all evening cause our kids rocked! It is the kind of thing that makes a mommy all sappy and even a little teary-eyed. It was awesome!

I'm Goin' Back to Cali

And in honor of this, here are the lyrics to one of my favorite songs about Los Angeles...

California love! 2Pac featuring Dr. Dre

California...knows how to party
California...knows how to party
In the citaaay of L.A.
In the citaaay of good ol' Watts
In the citaaay, the city of Compton
We keep it rockin! We keep it rockin!

Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west
A state that's untouchable like Elliot Ness
The track hits ya eardrum like a slug to ya chest
Pack a vest for your Jimmy in the city of sex
We in that sunshine state with a bomb ass hemp beat
the state where ya never find a dance floor empty
And pimps be on a mission for them greens
lean mean money-makin-machines servin fiends
I been in the game for ten years makin rap tunes
ever since honeys was wearin sassoon
Now it's '95 and they clock me and watch me
Diamonds shinin lookin like I robbed Liberace
It's all good, from Diego to tha Bay
Your city is tha bomb if your city makin pay
Throw up a finger if ya feel the same way
Dre puttin it down for
Californ-i-a

Shake it shake it baby
Shake it shake it baby
Shake it shake it mama
Shake it Cali
Shake it shake it baby
Shake it shake it shake it shake it...

Out on bail fresh outta jail, California dreamin
Soon as I stepped on the scene, I'm hearin hoochies screamin
Fiendin for money and alcohol
the life of a west side playa where cowards die and its all ball
Only in Cali where we riot not rally to live and die
In L.A. we wearin Chucks not Ballies (that's right)
Dressed in Locs and khaki suits and ride is what we do
Flossin but have caution we collide with other crews
Famous cause we program worldwide
Let'em recognize from Long Beach to Rosecrans
Bumpin and grindin like a slow jam, it's west side
So you know the row won't bow down to no man
Say what you say
But give me that bomb beat from Dre
Let me serenade the streets of L.A.
From Oakland to Sacktown
The Bay Area and back down
Cali is where they put they mack down
Give me love!

now make it shake...

uh, yeah, uh, longbeach in tha house, uh yeah
Oaktown, Oakland definately in tha house hahaha
Frisko, Frisko

hey, you know LA is up in this
Pasadena, where you at
yeah, Inglewood, Inglewood always up to no good
even Hollywood tryin to get a piece baby
Sacramento, sacramento where ya at? yeah

Throw it up y'all, throw it up, Throw it up
Let's show these fools how we do this on that west side
Cause you and I know it's tha best side

yeah, That's riight
west coast, west coast
uh, California Love
California Love

The Best Way To Choose A Home

We have lived in many homes--some owned some rented. I have come to believe that this indeed IS the best way to choose a home.

Blogging Makes Me Feel Bad

I just can't seem to keep up with you. You are beautiful and smart and a great mother and you are funny and witty and multi-task and have a perfect home and are crafty and have side projects and make money and write and have hobbies and good spelling and grammar and you are good wife and have a doting husband who has a great career too and you are financially stable and your blog is pretty and you post every day and you upload photos of your perfectness and you exercise and eat right and your kids wear cute clothes and you know how to dress yourself too and your kids sleep and eat vegetables and you take mini-vacations with your girlfriends and you sleep.